Greg Cruttwell
The Football Monologues tells the stories of seven different people living in and around the beautiful game. Each of our subjects talks intimately, unveiling their innermost hopes and fears. One by one they touch on themes central to us all: the fragility of our mental selves, the failings of our bodies, the complexities of our relationships and ambitions and our need to connect.
Fitness fanatic, Donald Leek, indulges in a monthly Chunky Monkey experience with, someone vaguely resembling movie-songstress, Julie Andrews, who he's expecting at 7:30pm. His obsession with Ms. Andrews (and her posterior) is somewhat disturbing to say the least. Before she arrives however, he has to dispose of the body parts of Mr Azam, manager of his favourite Indian restaurant, who has neglected to send him a Christmas card. He is interrupted by a peculiar assortment of unwelcome visitors, amongst them, Jesus Christ and a one-testicled self-made millionaire. Each one is as unhinged as their host, who retaliates to the intrusion in extreme fashion
After Baby George survives a plane crash in the jungle, he is rescued and then adopted by a wise ape. Years later, grown-up George saves a US noble woman, Ursula Stanhope while she is on a safari—and takes her to the jungle to live with him. While Ursula's lover continues his search for Ursula and the one who took her, George slowly learns the rules of human relationships.
In a sleepy bedroom community of LA's San Fernando Valley, the murder of a professional athlete by two hit men sets into motion a chain of events that puts the mundane lives of a dozen residents on a collision course. This clever tale tells the story of two hit men, a mistress, a nurse, a vindictive ex-wife, a wealthy art dealer and his lovelorn assistant, a suicidal writer and his dog, and a bitter cop and his partner.
