Herbert H. Margolis
Lieutenant Rip Crandall is hoodwinked into taking command of the "Wackiest Ship in the Navy" - a real garbage scow with a crew of misfits who don't know a jib from a jigger. What none of them knows, including Crandall, is that this ship has a very important top-secret mission to complete in waters patrolled by the Japanese fleet. Their mission will save hundreds of allied lives - if only they can get there in one piece.
Ma and Pa do their bit to hook lumberman Brad Johnson up with spoiled socialite Sally Flemming. Ma teaches Sally how to behave like a hick so she'll be compatible with Brad.
A bunch of ugly, tubby, nefarious middle-aged square mobsters threaten to take over a hoppin' Lone Star state teen nightspot, so the smart and resourceful kids hold an impromptu charity rock benefit concert to raise enough bread to save their beloved hangout from the greasy gangsters' vile clutches.
A college professor begins to suspect that a student's accidental death was tied to his refusal to take part in a traditional "hazing" and was no accident.
An adventurer about to lose his sloop and diving equipment agrees to dive for illegal gold.
John Payne is the no-good lowdown rat who tries to capitalize on postwar patriotism and grief. He finagles a war widow (Joan Caulfied) into giving up her savings for a nonexistent memorial. When Payne falls in love with the widow he has pangs of conscience, but he reckons without his con-artist boss (Dan Duryea), who tends to bolster his arguments with muscle and bullets.
