Raymond Hitchcock
Percy, the man with the world's first penis transplant, discovers that there is a chemical in the city's water that makes men impotent.
In 1927 Olive Borden starred in Fox drama The Monkey Talks directed by Raoul Walsh. She played a circus performer who meets a man pretending to be a talking monkey.
Doris Poole, whose parents were theatrical people, was orphaned as a child, and four members of the troupe adopted and raised her. When grown, she has become the leading lady in a San Francisco stock-company. She meets and falls in love with Ted, the millionaire son of a rich widow, but she thinks he is only a tax-cab driver. His mother objects to the romance and looks into Doris' past. She learns that her father had murdered, in a fit of jealousy, her mother, and tells Doris what she has found out. The four actors who had raised her had never told her how she happened to become an orphan. They persuade Ted's mother to send him on a voyage to the Orient in order to get him away from Doris. But they neglected to tell the mother they had also booked passage for Doris on the same ship.
In order to land an important client, Morgan is obliged to escort a beautiful redhead to a costume ball. Finding out about this, and suspecting that some hanky-panky is involved, Morgan's wife Angela dons a mask and a red wig and offers herself as the companion of her unwitting hubby. Angela's jealousy-motivated subterfuge works to everyone's advantage when she manages to cinch the deal for Morgan.
Dr. Budd is a New York physician specializing in "beauty". His business is successful but he is still plagued by money problems. One day he gets an idea--he obtains the coat-of-arms of a long-forgotten Italian noble family, the Bolognias, and uses it as his logo on his line of beauty products.
John Carter is a good fellow. In fact, his good fellowship is Carter's one great fault, for the highballs and cocktails which go with it too frequently make him forget his more serious obligations and are cause for anxiety on the part of his charming fiancée Marybelle. Marybelle's little brother, Billie asks Carter what is making Marybelle so sad. Carter replies evasively, "It's a Ringtailed Rhinoceros." Billie vows to kill the rhino. When Carter fails to appear on time at a dinner which was planned to announce his engagement to Marybelle, and finally arrives intoxicated, her parents in anger force her to break the engagement and forbid Carter the house. Marybelle's rejection of Carter hits him hard.
Hitchcock comes to a small town, where the chickens and pigs run about the streets as numerous as the people. His purpose is to amuse and entertain the populace by wonderful feats of magic and sleight-of-hand. His plans are all set awry by his sudden infatuation for Flora Zabelle, who plays the hotel waitress and sweetheart of Fatty Arbuckle.
The parents of a wealthy young man arrange for him to marry a woman he has never seen. When he meets and falls for a young woman he convinces his valet to switch places. The idea is that the valet will make a bad impression on the fiance, the wedding will canceled and the hero can marry his true love. There is only one problem, his love and unseen fiance are the same woman.
